


Grow A Little Wiser

by HopeCoppice



Series: Falling From Grace [8]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/M, Genderfluid Character, Genderfluid Crowley (Good Omens), Kid Fic, M/M, Other, parenting, past Crowley/Satan, some trauma effects
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22279273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HopeCoppice/pseuds/HopeCoppice
Summary: Grace continues to grow, and her parents continue to adapt to the challenges that face them.You're going to want to read the rest of Falling From Grace first. Apologies for the sparse summary - I'll update it when I have a clearer handle on what this one involves.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Falling From Grace [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1437601
Comments: 30
Kudos: 51





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's been so long! Picks up directly after the events of 'I Get Afraid Of Losing My Way', or the day after the end of 'Life Had Just Begun' if you prefer not to read the E-rated stuff. I'll be honest, I have a vague idea of a distant plot point but I'm not 100% sure how I'm getting there, so we'll see how it goes. Updates may be a bit sporadic!

Crowley caught at Aziraphale’s sleeve as they appeared outside Jasmine Cottage.

“Wait. Wait, I-”

“It’s all right, dear. Take your time.” He was anxious to see his daughter, of course, but if Crowley was still feeling fragile he would wait for her.

“No, I want to see her- I just- Oh, _Hell._ ” She glanced in each direction, then her corporation rippled. She looked, all of a sudden, as she had the day Grace had first stood, that day at the bookshop when she’d taken up her more masculine shape and pronouns. “That… I think that’s better.”

“Good. Pronouns, dear?”

“Still she, I think. At least for the moment. Just… this feels safer right now.”

“I understand. Just let me know if you want me to call you anything different.”

Crowley gave him a wide, cheeky grin, and it only looked slightly forced. “How about studmuffin?”

“Oh, imagine your face if I took you seriously. Ready to get our girl back?”

“Yeah.” The grin was gone, but Crowley seemed much calmer than she had before. “Let’s.”

They knocked, and the moment Anathema opened the door, they could hear chaos. Crying, screaming, laughter… and that was just Newt. It soon became apparent that Adam was quite capable of forming a gang of terrors with three other people of _any_ age, and the result was that rather a lot of stuffed toys were being thrown around in the living room as they entered.

“What-” Crowley began, and a stuffed panda to the face took her down. Aziraphale laughed, Adam turned to look at the unexpected noise, and then everything stopped for a moment as he realised who’d been hit.

“Mum?” He rushed over, shushing the younger children as he offered her a hand up. “Or, er, Dad? Are you all right?”

“Mum,” Crowley told him weakly, her voice very thin and fragile. “I don’t know, I-” But the moment her hand was in Adam’s, she pulled, throwing him off-balance so she could bop him on the shoulder with the fallen panda. “Don’t start a fight you can’t finish, kiddo.” And then she was in the thick of it, exchanging stuffed-toy missiles with the kids and laughing like the biggest kid of them all.

“Dadada?” Aziraphale looked down and found Grace clinging to his trousers, apparently trying to climb them. He was glad he’d worn both belt and braces today, or he suspected his trousers would be around his ankles by now. Since they weren’t, he wasted no time in scooping his daughter up.

“Grace, my dear girl. How did it all go?”

“A gud gul,” Grace assured him, “Gudgudgud.”

“I’m sure you were.” He turned to Anathema. “Was she?”

“Good as gold. She had a little bit of a cry in the middle of the night, but she cheered up when she saw Adam. She really loves him, doesn’t she?”

“She does,” Aziraphale confirmed, “we all do.”

Crowley emerged, just then, from the battlefield of flying teddies, and stole Grace right out of Aziraphale’s arms.

“Gracie!”

Grace hissed at her, and before any of the adults could react, there were three hissing children and a hissing teenager in the room.

“Right, that’s our cue to go home, I think,” Aziraphale said, and went off to collect Grace’s things so Crowley could spend a few more minutes with Adam. Anathema and Newt, though they were far too polite to say anything, looked quite relieved to hear that they would shortly be in charge of one less child.

“Two,” Crowley corrected him, when Aziraphale said as much on his return, “we’re giving Adam a lift back to his place.”

“Oh, how lovely. Well, thanks awfully for having her-” Crowley was already on her way out of the door, Grace in her arms and Adam at her side, but Newt seemed quite happy to accept Aziraphale’s thanks on their own.

“She was no trouble, really. Honestly, it’s our two that are the chaotic influence, so I’m sorry if she’s picked anything up.”

“Oh, I’m certain it’s fine. She’s obviously got yours hissing, after all.”

“Mm. How was your night? Did you get your protective… things… in place?”

“Oh. Oh, yes. I think we shall all feel a lot safer, now. Thank you. And really, thank you so much for looking after her. If we can ever return the favour…”

“You don’t know what you’re letting yourself in for,” Newt told him, “but we’ll keep that in mind, thanks.”

He didn't hurry Crowley as she drove Adam home the long way round, the three of them chatting about inconsequential things with occasional interjections of nonsense from Grace.

“What do you reckon, Mum? ‘Cos I know she likes flowers but she’s terrible at keeping them alive. She killed a cactus, somehow, so I don’t want to get her anything too hard-”

“Well, it’s easy to overwater a cactus. How about-?”

Aziraphale tuned out, just enjoying the knowledge that Crowley and her son were discussing a gift for Adam’s adoptive mother as if it was nothing unusual, as if it didn’t hurt at all. Crowley had come a long way from the broken shell of a demon who’d first spilled out the anguish of having lost a child.

They said goodbye to Adam at the gate of his home, then turned the Bentley onto the long road home.

“I’m glad we have you back, Grace,” Aziraphale told his daughter, “we missed you.”

“Dada,” Grace told him sagely, and he nodded.

“Your ark missed you, too, you know? All those animals. Oh, Somebody, did we pick up her unicorns-?”

“Yeah, she made sure we didn’t leave without them,” Crowley assured him, “let’s just get them home safe.”

That was an odd thing to say; Aziraphale narrowed his eyes at her.

“You’re worried, aren’t you?”

“Of course I am,” Crowley snapped, but it was hard to feel hurt by it. Crowley had so much on her mind, a little irritability was only to be expected. “Sorry, angel, I just- I just want to get home, where we’re protected.”

“Quite understandable, my dear. Would you like to go a little faster? I can spare a miracle or two to keep us safe at speed.”

“Who are you,” Crowley demanded incredulously, “and what have you done with my angel?” But then she got that little glint in her eye, and Aziraphale reached out reflexively for the nearest handhold, wrapping Grace in a protective miracle as he went. “Hold on tight, then.”

And, as if the Bentley was a rocket rather than a car, they tore off up the road.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long. Gotta be in a 'cute' frame of mind for this fic, most of the time. Anyway, this is my last remaining buffer chapter. Enjoy!

They arrived home in record time, and in one piece, and Crowley felt a lot better when she had her little family back together within the relative safety of their cottage. She dropped down to sit on the floor beside Grace as she introduced her unicorns to the rest of her Ark, and only realised that she'd spaced out when Aziraphale said her name in a tone that suggested he'd been saying it for a while.

"Sorry. 'M here. What's up?"

"Nothing, my dear. I only- you look shattered, and you didn't get much sleep last night, and… I just wondered if a nap might be in order. Grace is more than halfway there, already, and I wouldn't mind-"

Grace was, indeed, mumbling sleepily into the ear of a small wooden rhino; Crowley hadn't even realised. She seemed to have decided that the unicorns, the rhinos and the deer belonged together, but it seemed one of the rhinos wasn't convinced.

“Bedtime, Gracie?” She dropped the rhino and raised her arms, asking to be picked up. “Maybe you could sleep in with me and your dad tonight, what do you think?”

“Adada,” she mumbled, already halfway asleep, and Crowley took that as a yes.She ignored Aziraphale’s frown as he followed them up the stairs, focusing instead on tucking their daughter into their bed before she snapped her fingers to conjure up pyjamas and slipped under the covers next to her.

It took Crowley a few moments to realise that Aziraphale was still standing by the door, wringing his hands anxiously.

“Joining us, angel?”

“Oh. Er. Yes, please. If you don’t mind.” Ah. That was the problem, then. Aziraphale had seen her weakness earlier and now he didn’t want to risk setting her off again. He changed into his pyjamas and climbed into the bed on Grace’s other side, keeping a cautious distance from Crowley all the while. “There. There we are.”

“And here I was hoping for a cuddle, while Gracie's still small enough to cuddle around." She tried to keep her voice light and casual, but the truth was that she was dreading the possibility that Aziraphale might reject her now, after everything. She needn't have worried.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable, dear."

"Not," Crowley managed, though her mouth felt unexpectedly dry. "Not uncomfortable. Not with you."

"Well, then. I'd be very pleased to give you a cuddle." And, carefully, making sure not to squash Grace between them, he did.

Crowley was very nearly asleep when Aziraphale spoke, soft and uncertain.

“Crowley.”

“What’s wrong, angel?” She raised her head to peer at him over Grace, but he didn’t look  _ frightened _ , just worried.

“I won’t mind. Whatever the answer is. You know that, right?”

“OK.” She frowned. “What’s the question?”

“Are you using Grace as a buffer between us?”

“No, I-” She stopped. Aziraphale deserved a well-considered answer to that; it was a fair question. The last time she’d been in bed with the angel had been… intense, to say the least. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been a little nervous about coming home, but it had never been about Aziraphale. She didn’t imagine for a moment that Aziraphale would hurt her, or push her, or do anything to make her uncomfortable - it was her own brain that she was worried about. She was afraid she’d get scared over nothing, over something little, and that she might lash out at Aziraphale again. But then Aziraphale had suggested a nap, and he was just her angel. Her soft, sweet angel. She wasn’t afraid of him. “No, angel. No.” She hesitated. “Are you?”

Aziraphale, too, took his time to consider it.

“No. I’m glad to have her home, and here, and safe, of course.” He shrugged; the mattress shifted with the movement, and Grace made a soft noise in her sleep. They froze, for a moment, waiting for her to wake or settle, and then, when she seemed to be sleeping soundly again, Aziraphale continued. “But tonight, when she’s in her own bed, I should very much like to hold you, my dear. If you’re amenable, I mean.”

“Just hold?”

“Certainly, if that’s what you’d like. Or you could hold me, if you’d prefer, so you don’t feel- I don’t want you to feel- you’re not trapped, Crowley, I don’t want to press anything. I just love you, and I don’t want you to feel you have to put barriers up between us- although of course, if you  _ do  _ feel that way, I quite under-”

“Angel.” Crowley reached over and pressed a hand to Aziraphale’s cheek. “I want you to hold me, too.”

“Oh.” Aziraphale turned quite pink, as if he hadn’t known for years that Crowley loved him. “Oh, well, that’s all right, then.”

"Go to sleep," she told him with a smile, and when Aziraphale closed his eyes, she followed suit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. I'm afraid the lockdown is getting to me a bit now so I'm writing little bits of whatever I like and will be posting accordingly. Anyway, have some mild hurt/comfort. Hopefully more story will follow sooner rather than later!

_Satan smiled. It wasn't a reassuring sort of expression._

_"So you see, Crowley, it's very simple. You come back to me, and your little family lives."_

_"You made that threat before," Crowley snarled, "didn't work."_

_"No, Crowley. You_ thought _I did, and you were ready to give me everything." The smile grew to include even more sharp, pointed teeth. "You gave me the key. Now I'm using it. Unless, of course, you'd rather watch them die."_

_Aziraphale, restrained and unable to move, stared at Crowley wide-eyed, shaking his head. There had to be some other way. But not without risking their family, and that wasn't good enough for Crowley. She met Satan's eye and nodded, just once. Satan chuckled, cupping Crowley's cheek in one hand and laughing harder when she flinched._

_"Oh, Crowley. You're going to have to do better than that." The smile vanished. "Kneel."_

_Slowly, painfully, Crowley went to her knees, eyes locked on Aziraphale's. And Aziraphale began to scream._

"Angel. Angel! Wake up." He opened his eyes to find Crowley leaning over him. "Heaven's teeth, I wish I'd never introduced you to this sleeping thing."

He could hear Grace grizzling somewhere in another room, but he couldn't seem to let go of Crowley, his hands fisted in her pyjama shirt.

"Crowley-"

"It's all right, angel. I'm here. I'm here. You're OK."

"Crowley." He carefully released his grip, finger by finger. "Grace-"

"Yeah, the screaming woke her up. Wait right there, I'll grab her, we'll be right back."

Crowley, true to her word, vanished for barely a minute before returning with Grace on her hip.

"See, Gracie, it's just Daddy having a bit of a shout. You like having a shout sometimes, don't you?"

"Sout," Grace agreed, and promptly fell asleep the moment Crowley lowered her onto the mattress. 

Crowley stared blankly at her for a moment, clearly having expected more fuss, before moving to sit on Aziraphale's side of the bed.

"Want to talk about it?"

“I don’t know,” he admitted, “I’m worried that it might upset _you_.”

“Oh.” Crowley frowned. “Well, _now_ I’m worried.”

“Oh- no-” That was the last thing he’d intended. “You needn’t- it’s just- well, you were there. It was- I dreamt- Satan.”

Crowley only looked more perplexed by that. “That’s how _my_ side swears, angel. Are you sure you’re all right?”

Aziraphale squeezed his eyes shut and reached for Crowley’s hand, squeezing that too. “I thought he got you.” He heard Crowley draw in a quick little breath, and didn’t dare look at her. It felt as though he was confessing to giving her over to Satan himself. “I dreamt he used me and Grace to make you obey.”

“Angel. Oh, angel, it was just a dream-”

“But what if he does? You thought he threatened us, before, and you just… you went to him. You would have gone back to Hell with him, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes.” A hand pressed to his cheek startled his eyes open; Crowley was peering into his eyes with a steely softness. “Yeah, I would have. But he can’t hurt us now. We’re safe, we’ve warded the house.”

“Yes. You’re right, I’m being silly.”

"Hey. I didn't say that." Crowley corrected him gently. "It's not silly to worry that he'll take me away. I worry about it all the time, but I'm yours. You know that."

"I'm not worried that you're not mine. I'm worried that you're not _safe._ "

"Yeah." She kissed him, then, gentle and unhurried, and Aziraphale allowed himself to cling to the sensation. She was right there, with him, safe as could be. "But we were never safe, were we? Six thousand years of meetings, and it was never safe. We wouldn't know what to do with safety if we had it."

"But I _want_ it. For you and Grace, at least. I want you to be safe."

"And we'll protect each other. Like we always have." Crowley lay down behind him on the bed and pressed in close, moulding her body against his. "Sleep, angel. Everything's fine."

Aziraphale used a quick miracle to ensure that Grace wasn't about to roll off the bed, then closed his eyes and obeyed, the firm, reassuring presence of Crowley at his back keeping the nightmares at bay.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, it's a bit of a transitional one before a little time jump, so I'm sorry for the length and the lack of action. And the delay!
> 
> Enjoy!

Crowley was worried. She’d talked a good game about safety - or rather, how calm she was about their lack of it - but the truth was that she was rattled, and so was Aziraphale. The wards they’d put on their home were strong, but untested, and she was in no hurry to find out if they actually worked. Besides, Aziraphale had a point; regardless of the strength of the wards, if Satan offered her family’s safety in exchange for Crowley’s compliance, Crowley would comply. Crowley would trade _anything_ for her family’s safety.

Restless, she lay there for a few minutes, listening to Aziraphale’s even breathing, before carefully slipping out of bed and, after a moment’s consideration, leaving the room. Grace was safe with Aziraphale, and Aziraphale would be comforted by their daughter’s presence. Crowley was reluctant to leave the comfort of the shared bed herself, but she was far too anxious to sleep.

In the kitchen, she went about the mundane process of making herself a cup of tea, then stared at it as it cooled. She didn’t want to drink tea. She wanted to- she _needed_ to think. There had to be some way of testing the wards without actually unleashing Satan on the place. But nothing came to mind. She paced restlessly, tipped the cold tea down the sink, and pottered out into the garden to look up at the sky. It was a clear night, and she could see the stars. Strange to think, somehow, that she had made them. Not all of them, of course, perhaps none of the ones she could see tonight, but she had once had the power to create _stars_. And now she was afraid to leave her home, warded by every ethereal and occult method she and Aziraphale could think of.

She _would_ leave her home, of course she would. But it rankled, the fact that she was nervous about it. As she gazed up at the stars, she couldn’t help but wonder if it was what she deserved. She had chosen to defy God with Lucifer, after all. Perhaps she had brought it all on herself.

“Whatever you’re thinking,” Aziraphale murmured, coming up behind her and resting his head on her shoulder, “stop.”

“You don’t know,” Crowley countered instinctively, “could have been thinking about something nice. Could have been thinking about _you.”_

“If thinking about me ever puts that look on your face, my dear, you must leave me at once.”

“Oh, well, then.” Crowley pulled away, teasing, then turned in Aziraphale’s arms. “I was just wondering if I brought this on myself.”

“No.” Aziraphale shook his head firmly. “You were with Satan once, long ago, and that was a choice you were perfectly entitled to make. And then you left him, and that was a choice you were entitled to make, too. But it’s Satan who chose to use you so abominably, to take something away from you without even telling you it was yours to begin with, and it’s Satan who’s choosing not to let you go now. None of this is your fault, Crowley.”

“I know.” She did, really. “I know that. I just… I can’t help feeling like I’m endangering you both.”

“You’re not.” Aziraphale leaned in and kissed her, gently at first, and then hungrily. When he pulled away, Crowley felt quite breathless, but it seemed the angel wasn’t done talking. “You’re the best thing in my life, you and the kids. But you need to get some sleep. And I put Grace back in her room, so we can snuggle freely.”

“Oh, well. With an offer like that on the table, how can I refuse?”

“You can always refuse, my dear.” Aziraphale held her gaze solemnly until she nodded her understanding. Then, all of a sudden, he smiled, that wicked twinkle in his eyes that had always got Crowley’s heart racing. “Also, I don’t think the table is the most hygienic venue for some of the things I’m happy to offer you.”

“Ngk,” said Crowley, and led Aziraphale upstairs.


End file.
